Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies is hosted by my friend, Kim of Homesteader's Heart

I don't know if you're gonna laugh at this. Just something I want to share, I guess.

Don't go hating me coz I did not make these jokes. hahaha!

FUNNY # 1

There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman.

After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the roadside in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer.)















The perfect woman. She's the only one that really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man... (Women, end e-mail here. Men, keep scrolling.)















So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

(by the way if you're a woman, and you're reading this...this brings up another point....women never listen either.......)

Source: clean laugh

I find this amusing, not insulting. So we never listen? I disagree. Oh well. We can be stubborn when we know we're right, huh? hehehe!

FUNNY # 2


Image © Cody Lee Howe

FUNNY # 3

Praying For Gifts Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs, "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE. I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO. I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"

Thanks to Mary Campbell

FUNNY # 4

Christmas Quickies

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offense," said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

FUNNY # 5

Smart Kid!

Timmy, age 4 went to see Santa for the first time, and he asked Santa for lots of toys. The next day, his mother and Timmy had to go out and do some more shopping. They saw Santa again and Timmy sat on Santa's lap a second time. When Santa asked Timmy what he wanted for Christmas, he said in a questioning voice "But I told you what I wanted yesterday!?" Santa quickly covered himself by quickly saying that he thought Timmy might have thought of something else to add to his list. When they went out again a few days later, Timmy asked his mother if Santa was going to be there. She promptly told him he would. Timmy thought a bit then said "I thought of something else to add to my list then." "What is that?" asked Mom. "Why an elf, of course." replied Timmy. "An elf? Whatever do you want an elf for?" queried Mom. "Why ask for toys when I can ask for elves," replied Timmy, "and have them build me all the toys I'll ever need?"

This is not to offend anyone but to make us laugh. Laugh every once in a while. That's the secret of not aging quickly. hehehe! Be young at heart. Laugh a lot.

Make an impact. Make a difference. Make a ripple. Tip the scale.

GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY! GOD LOVES YOU!

ALL THE GLORY BELONGS TO GOD ALONE!!!

P.U.S.H.

When you feel GOD's love, OVERFLOW WITH LAUGHS!