Sunday, November 23, 2008

Unbelievably Amazing

Earlier at service, the sermon was about 'Amazing Grace.'

Then my memory brought me back to the time when I was in sin. After I backslid, sins came running to me, demons rejoicing and world's problems came tumbling over me.

My memory also brought me back to men who abused me. Men who tried to control me. Men who just wanted my body. Men who verbally and mentally abused me. Men who used me financially. Men who just didn't respect me as a precious daughter of GOD.

No grudges though. Forgiven and forgotten.

GOD's undying love, neverending faithfulness and amazing grace led me back HOME.

Ok that was my introduction. hahaha! Now, here's my climax. hahaha!

CLIMAX: My past life can be defined in one word: boys. It revolved around boys. I had plenty of crushes like a normal highschool girl has. I had plenty of boyfriends. Some serious, some weren't. Because of the certain desire of having the 'love of my life', I drowned myself into sin. I even had a boyfriend who always wanted me to drink alcohol with him and his friends. When I compare my life now and back then, I would say it was a battle of good and evil. Sin got me by using a 'boy' but GOD got me by using a 'guy.' I got tired. I was depressed and because of the faith instilled by my parents in me when I was a youngster, I turned to GOD. I sought HIM with all my heart. I changed for HIM. GOD is the love of my life.

That's another introduction. hahaha!

The desire of having a lifetime partner still remained in my heart. I knew I was going to meet him in GOD's Perfect Timing. While I was waiting anxiously (hahaha), I decided to just surrender it to GOD and told HIM that even if HE doesn't give me a husband, I will still love HIM with all of me. I told HIM that I will glorify HIM with my relationship if ever HE gives me my helper.

Months after that, GOD gave me a friend. This friend helped me grow spiritually and emotionally as an individual. This friend helped me grow in character. As I was growing, this friend was growing with me, too. Until now, this friend continues to grow with me. Our strong foundation is CHRIST. This friend became my best friend. He, then, became my special someone, my fiance´. His beautiful name is Cody Lee Howe (pronounced as how).

Cody never left me. Not even once. He was a very faithful friend. He desires for my spiritual and emotional growth. I can say now that after 11 months, we definitely grew and still growing together as a couple. It became all clear to me now that he is GOD's Perfect Choice for me. Well, I've already known that last April. hehehe! It's just amazing to look back and say, "Wow I've really grown with him. Now I know why GOD gave him to me." After 11 months of being friends and after 7 months of being a couple, I am still deeply in love with him every second of my breathing life. Actually, my love for him grows stronger each day. It's a cliche I know but it is really what I feel. I am in love with him like the very first day I realized that I love him unconditionally 7 months ago. But more than that day, of course. Infinity plus one. hehehe!

I am just so amazed at how Cody treats me with so much love and respect. He tells and shows me things that no other guy in my past had told and shown me. Earlier this afternoon, he made me love him more deeply. How? Well, here's a peek at how our conversation went...

me: you know i'm very excited to marry you for so many reasons but the number one reason would be because of love
cody: me too. because i feel you're the only one for me. you're made for me and i just desire you
me: i love you and you are made for me
cody: not because i had a dream of marriage. it's because of YOU. i love YOU, my blessing.
me: awww that's so sweet of you to say
cody: only you have invoked these feelings in me. i've never talked like this before. and i don't feel like i need to impress you. rather, i desire to satisfy you. not because you demand it, but because you appreciate it. i see the real and unique beauty in you and i want that in my life. we'll be happy in God's grace.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..."

FYI, I am Cody's first love and he is mine as well. Of course, next to GOD. That should be a given. hehehe!

One of my heart's desires is to glorify GOD alone in my relationship with Cody. I desire to encourage the singles out there to wait and be patient for GOD knows what's best for everyone. I also desire to inspire married couples to always communicate, as what Cody believes. Humility is an effective ingredient in life. Love GOD first, love others second. Then everything else will follow.

Matthew 22:37-39
Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'


Matthew 6:33 (KJV)
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."



When you feel GOD's love, OVERFLOW!

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