Wednesday, October 22, 2008

A GOD-given life

I never thought I could ever have him. All I dreamed of. Even more than that. If I have to love all over again, I would only love him. For me, he is so perfect. With the gentle touch of his blue eyes which can be grey and green, too. What a beautiful sight!

This is one of my sad and confusing days. He asked me, "Do you ever see yourself grow with another man 2 months from now?" I never doubted my answer. The reality will always remain. I will never desire any man other than him. He is my heart's desire as my present and my future, as well.

I've been sharing my concerns with him. He was, as he has always been, truly patient with me. He is very openminded and understanding. He respects me so much. Emotionally, spiritually and physically. We have conquered another complication again. Another trial in our relationship. I give GOD all the glory for the changes HE has done to Cody. The growth HE has given to him. I am truly honored to share my life with this man. Cody stood by me for almost 10 months now. I am not easy to handle, by the way. hahaha! GOD has gifted me a very patient man who sees me as the only woman in his life aside from his mom and female relatives, of course. A man who only wants to see me happy and grow spiritually. He even stayed up late earlier so we could resolve our problems. I appreciate everything he does for me. Sometimes, I even ask myself if I really deserve a beautiful blessing like him. Unbelievable but true. I am grateful for a relationship grounded on GOD alone. Our feet will always go to the same path. The path that leads to GOD!

I talk to other girls and read other girls' stuff on how men disrespected them. A simple fact that I truly appreciate is that Cody never tried to talk/chat sexually immoral to me. He never insisted me to be on cam all the time and show him my whole body or get naked in front of the cam. Another fact is that I don't have a personal cam. Only I see him on cam and he always gets dressed whenever I ask him to be on cam. Kind of biased but then I can't afford a cam for now. hehehe! He respects me a lot in sexual terms. And to think, Americans are liberated. He is very different. One of his best qualities that I could never stop thanking GOD for. I'm very sure that even if I get naked in front of him, he would never touch me. He even reminded me to study my Bible (his gift). Study not just read. hehehe! That's why it's called a 'Study Bible' hahaha!

GOD's blessings are the best especially if they're HIS Perfect Will.

Romans 12:2
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will."

I also want to share that in order to attain a Godly relationship, there should be a formal closure from your past. Genuine forgiveness from both parties. If you want to stop literally dreaming of your past, decide and take the risk on formal closure. A personal testimony...I have gotten over an ex last year for only 2 weeks. 1 day of crying. Why? GOD healed and renewed me. After that, I pursued a Godly life. Just when I surrendered my lovelife to GOD, HE gave me Cody. Real friendship. My best friend next to GOD. My partner and helper here on Earth. The problems don't end there though. I've been having dreams of 'the ex' still. Many times, I've heard preachings about soul ties. What I did is get rid of everything that came from 'the ex.' I couldn't bear dreams of him so I decided to do what our pastor always share about formal closure and assuring forgiveness from the past. I have forgiven him for his shortcomings but for some reason, I could discern that he still hasn't forgiven me so I wrote him an email last month if I am not mistaken. I asked permission from Cody and he supported me. After that email, I stopped dreaming of him which is a relief for me. To top it off, I dreamt of Cody. Seeing him in my literal dreams is such a beautiful gift unfolding right in front of my closed eyes. Before, I used to believe in forgive and forget. Now, I believe in forgive and love again. Love more. Forgive and renew your spirit. Just forgive. Whenever I hear or see my ex's names, I don't feel bitter anymore. No more pain or fear of the past. All the negative washed away by GOD's unfailing love.

Matthew 6:14
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

Matthew 18:21-22
21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Mark 11:25
"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

I don't have a perfect life. When girls talk about disrespectful men or a bad past, they might tell me that I don't understand because I am happy with my life now, but I've been there. My life can be an open book and you'll see that I've encountered all kinds of men. I survived. GOD healed me. I can tell you now, with all honesty, my heart is clean from pain, fear and grudges from the past. No anger. Just lessons learned. Blessings appreciated. Apart from GOD, I am nothing. I was nothing. I still am nothing but HE is my every good and perfect thing.

James 1:17
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

Our Father in Heaven, be exalted in my life!

Make an impact. Make a difference. Make a ripple. Tip the scale.




When you feel GOD's love, OVERFLOW!

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