Because of my busy-ness, I make it a point to go out of my way to make myself laugh and I really enjoy it. Yesterday, my mom and youngest sister were in my mom's office. My mom read aloud some funny stories from a Christian magazine (Light Touch) and the stories cracked us up. I'd want to share them with you. So here they are...
Senior Driving
As a senior citizen was driving down the highway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "German, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the highway. Please be careful!"
"Heck," said German, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
Family (my favorite)
Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the batch?" The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know - I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses, "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea - listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful - knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you...as soon as I see who's at the door."
Lost in the darndest places
An elderly called the emergency number on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. Hysterical, she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says, "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
Old friends
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now, don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
More senior driving
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
A few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, no! Am I driving?"
Hope these made you laugh. That is one of my goals today. To make you smile, my friend.
Make an impact. Make a difference. Make a ripple. Tip the scale. Be a blessing. Be different.
ALL THE GLORY BELONGS TO GOD ALONE!!!
P.U.S.H.
ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD!!!
GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU - NO MATTER WHAT!
When you feel GOD's love, OVERFLOW WITH HAPPINESS!
I was thinking about happiness when I saw my sister's shoutout at her Friendster "There is no key to happiness. The door is always open."
Being happy is a choice. While joy only comes from the LORD.
Senior Driving
As a senior citizen was driving down the highway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "German, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the highway. Please be careful!"
"Heck," said German, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
Family (my favorite)
Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the batch?" The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know - I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses, "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea - listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful - knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you...as soon as I see who's at the door."
Lost in the darndest places
An elderly called the emergency number on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. Hysterical, she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says, "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
Old friends
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now, don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
More senior driving
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
A few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, no! Am I driving?"
Hope these made you laugh. That is one of my goals today. To make you smile, my friend.Make an impact. Make a difference. Make a ripple. Tip the scale. Be a blessing. Be different.
ALL THE GLORY BELONGS TO GOD ALONE!!!
P.U.S.H.
ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD!!!
GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU - NO MATTER WHAT!
When you feel GOD's love, OVERFLOW WITH HAPPINESS!
I was thinking about happiness when I saw my sister's shoutout at her Friendster "There is no key to happiness. The door is always open."
Being happy is a choice. While joy only comes from the LORD.
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